tips for editing your writing

Sources: these are my personal notes from across these resources. the text below may be directly quoted, paraphrased, or summarized from any of these sources.

Writing Science by Joshua Schimel

Write Ivy - multiple articles

The Writing Collective - multiple articles

BJ Space Blog Post

My Notes:

Highlighted sections are more likely to help with word count, while unhighlighted sections may help more only with character count

Sentence structure: OCAR (opening=topic, challenge, action, resolution)

Long sentences need an LD (lead, development; all up front) structure

Short and clear topic

Main verb immediately follows topic

Key message at end (stress pt)

Energize writing by eliminating/reducing:

passive voice → active voice

May show up in the form of "to be" and "to have" Look for...

am, is, are, isn't

was, were, will, won't, shall

be, being, been

can, could, would, should

might, must, may

has, have, had

did, do, doing, did, does

Examples:

Passive: The printing press was invented by Johannes Gutenberg in 1440. → Active: Johannes Gutenberg invented the printing press in 1440.

Passive: What good writers do, however, is to keep these duller, low-energy verbs to a minimum. → Active: Good writers, however, keep these duller, low-energy verbs to a minimum.

Passive: The exam scores were tabulated by the teacher. → Active: The teacher tabulated the exam scores

Passive: The baseball card was purchased by the collector.→ Active: The collector purchased the baseball card.

Passive: The witness’s remarks were recorded by the police officer. → Active: The police officer recorded the witness’s remarks.

When is passive voice necessary?

You don't know, or do not want to reveal, the action performer

When the person or thing receiving action is more important than the one performing the action

Sentence contains two verbs with the same subject

May need a shift of voice (from active to passive or vice versa) to preserve sentence flow

fuzzy verbs → active verbs

Fuzzy verbs

occur

affect

facilitate

perform

conduct

implement

Action verbs

modify

accomplish

create

increase

decrease

invade

react

inhibit

disrupt

accelerate

migrate

nominalizations → adjective/verb

Look for suffixes: "-ation," "-ance," "-mant," "-ment," "-ence," "-al," and “-sion”

Examples: adjective → nominalizations of adjective (yes these are given in reverse order of what you'd want to do)

difference → difference

difficult → difficulty

able → ability

capable → capability

similar → similarity

Examples: verb → nominalizations of verb

move → movement

differ → difference

suggest → suggestion

interact → interaction

analyze → analysis

develop → development

influence: A influenced B → A had an influence on B

approach: A approached → A took an approach

yield: The reaction yielded → The yield of the reaction was

withdrew → a withdrawl of

expect → expectation

indicated → there are indications

discuss → discussion

Nominalizations are needed when:

It's a subject referring to a previous sentence

Referring to well-known concepts

french/latin → anglo-saxon

Examples: long → short words

duration → length, time

consume → eat

morality → death

permit → let

necessary → need

demonstrate → show

donate → give

initiate → start

attempt → try

utilize → use

methodology → method

"hidden" verbs

Look for...

accomplish

achieve

carry (out)

cause

come (to the)

conduct

give

make

perform

provide

undertake

Examples:

We will conduct a demonstration of the process. → We will demonstrate the process.

Her constant tardiness caused disruptions in the class. → Her constant tardiness disrupted the class.

We came to the realization that the market was already saturated. → We realized that the market was already saturated.

directional words: "up," "down," "out," "in"

Examples:

out in the background → in the backyard

taking something out of a box → taking something from the box

up in the tree → in the tree

"the", "that", "there is/are/was/were", "it is"

Examples:

There are many factors that could harm our economy → Many factors could harm our economy

It is important to remember to vaccinate your dog for rabies. → County law requires you to vaccinate your dog for rabies.

It is important to note that Russia faces many challenges because of its long border with China. → Russia must commit vast military resources to secure its 2,615-mile border with China.

prepositional phrases

Use noun in phrase as adjective

Examples:

Residents of the United States → United States residents → U.S. residents

Clerk of the court → Court clerk

Use possessive nouns to eliminate prepositions

Examples:

The biggest province in Canada → Canada's biggest ...

The house of Bill and Jane → Bill and Jane's house

Jane Smith, president of the Company → Jane Smith, the Company's president

Attorney for the defendant → The defendant's attorney

Use compound modifiers – often useful in cases where the prepositions are "as", "from", "of", and "for"

Examples:

This water is as cold as ice → This is ice-cold water

The shipment is bound for China → The shipment is China-bound

He is an advocate for the death penalty → He is a death-penalty advocate

We want to hire cashiers who are speakers of Spanish → We want to hire Spanish-speaking cashiers

Convert into an adjective

Examples:

Counties in the north → Northern counties

Market by the side of the road → Roadside market

Bunker under the ground → Underground bunker

Hotel by the sea → seaside hotel

Convert into participles (verb form of a word)

Examples:

In the attempt to write a concise essay, he left out important facts. → Attempting to write a concise essay, he left out important facts.

In the fear of failure, he sought help with his English homework. → Fearing failure, he sought help with his English homework.

In response to the alarm, the fire truck hurtled down the street. → Responding to the alarm, the fire truck hurtled down the street.

Convert into adverbs

Examples:

The writer’s novels were of critical acclaim. → The writer’s novels were critically acclaimed.

The patient’s symptoms were under close watch. → The patient’s symptoms were closely watched.

Other examples:

Original: Let’s meet up and plan out which cafes we want to try out first. → Edited: Let’s meet and plan which cafes to try first.

Original: He dropped out of college on account of the fact that it was necessary for him to support his family. → Edited: He dropped out of college to support his family.

Original: For many people, the reality of an entry into a new area of employment is cause for a host of anxieties. → Edited: Changing careers makes many people anxious.

List of common prepositions

about

above

across

after

against

along

among

around

at

before

behind

below

beneath

beside

between

beyond

by

despite

down

during

except

for

from

in

inside

into

near

of

off

on

outside

over

past

through

to

under

until

up

with

without

break up sentences with lots of commas (or long sentence, e.g. more than 2 lines)

Example:

“The massive immigration of ethnically and linguistically unfamiliar groups that accompanied the industrialization of the United States in the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries exposed Americans to cultural diversity, and so also might seem to lie behind the current phenomenon of lifestyle enclaves.” (1 sentence, 44 words)

“The Massive immigration of ethnically and linguistically unfamiliar groups that accompanied the industrialization of the United States in the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries. This exposed Americans to cultural diversity and so also might seem to lie behind the current phenomenon of lifestyle enclaves.” (2 sentences, 40 words)

modifiers, aka empty amplifiers, e.g. adjectives and adverbs (often end in -ly)

certain(ly)

dramatic(ally)

entire(ly)

high(ly)

quite

rather

real(ly)

simple(ly)

substantial(ly)

very

meta discourse: text that isn't necessary to convey message

verbosity

Example 1:

“It made me wonder why such an abundant energy source would be challenging to harness even with the minuscule energy the earth requires compared to what the sun generates.” →

“It made me wonder why such an abundant energy source would be challenging to harness even with the minuscule energy the earth requires compared to what the sun generates.” →

“It made me wonder why such an abundant energy source would be challenging to harness even with the minuscule energy the earth requires compared to what the sun generates.”

Example 2:

“While my undergraduate career has provided me with some of the tools of the trade and sharpened my analytical mind, I am lacking the specialized knowledge required for engineering positions that apply machine learning, natural language processing, and computer vision in novel ways. I am eager to begin a Master’s in Computer Science in order to explore advanced topics in computer science and artificial intelligence. I am determined to leverage this experience into an advanced position as a software engineer in industry, applying my skills to the constantly evolving landscape of intelligent systems.” (93 words) →

“While my undergraduate career sharpened my analytical mind, I lack certain Machine Learning, NLP, and Computer Vision skills required for industrial software engineering positions. In a Master’s in Computer Science, I hope to explore these topics in artificial intelligence and build the skills needed to work in the evolving landscape of intelligent systems.” (53 words)

heavy phrasing

Examples: heavy → light phrases

accordingly → so

along the lines of → like

as to → about

as a matter of fact → in fact

at all times → always

at the end of the day → finally

at the present time → now, currently

at this point in time → now, currently

because of the fact that → because

by virtue of the fact → because

by means of → by

consequently → so

due to the fact → because

due to these reasons → because

for the reason that → because

for this reason → so

for the purpose of → for

from the point of view of → for

furthermore → then

have the ability to → be able to

in the case of → if

in order to → to

in accordance with → by, under

in light of the fact → because

in spite of the fact → though, although

in the final analysis → finally

in as much as → since, because

more specifically → in fact

nevertheless → now, next

on the grounds that → since, because

on the basis of → by

prior to → before

that is to say → in other words

to be sure → of course

until such time as → until

with a view to → to

with regard to → about

with the result that → so that

in the nature of → like

in the event that → if

in terms of → in, for

filler words ( source )

that

just

then

totally

completely

literally

absolutely

definitely

certainly

actually

basically

virtually

start

begin

began

begun

rather

quite

somewhat

somehow